...Roaming THE HILL'S of Autism...

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Romance is blooming despite economic crisis!!

2009-04-09T14:27:00.003-03:00

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=77074556002&h=zzncM&u=FNAN-&ref=nf

~R

Too long gone

2009-04-03T13:44:00.002-03:00

There is no excuse for not posting anything lately, except that I am the queen of procrastionation!!!!

Things have been fine in the Hill household.

With all threee children in school one would think I'd have completed a couple of novels by now, but I keep procrastionating and never get anything done.

I am hoping to change that now as I get my act together and try to accomplish something over the next few months.

Time goes by so quickly it seems like yesterday that I was a teenager and time is not going to stop just because I want it to. I do not want another year to have come and gone and me to have no writing to show for it.

I am currently working on a children's novel, working title: Saving Grand Maple Ashlar. It is basically a fantasy novel that started out as a story I told my children centering a round a tree in our back yard. This story idea has been weighing on my for over two years until i finally have decided that I need to just write the dang thing so I can move on to something else.

So I am off now. Children will soon be returning from school.

Toodles!

~R

I need to get my act together

2008-02-18T10:07:00.002-04:00

it has been so long since I've written on here.

Well the Pediatrician says My oldest son has aspergers...March we have a final appointment before full diagnoses. I must say I have considered cancelling this appointment because my son fears having anything wrong with him. He's to the point that he won't sit next to my younger son because he doesn't want people to think he has autism too.

He's doing much better in school...aside from trying to make deals with the teacher to get get out of detention and having to do his work.

Any suggestions, advice, comments on this subject would be greatly appreciated.

School

2007-11-02T23:22:00.000-03:00

Well school has been a very positive experience for Elijah. He gets on the bus anxious to go, and they bring him home at 11:30 crying to go back! School has helped him so much, I see more change in him everyday! We wait for the bus each morning without me having to hold his hand. He seems so independant. I know he has far to go, but his beginning has been such a sucess.

This little boy is my everything! I want him to be the best that he can be! I wish I could just be in his head for awhile and know if he even understands how much I love him. Today i was acting out the fool with him and mistakingly hit his loose tooth in the front. It started to bleed and I apologized over and over to him and hugged him, but after that he was not interested in playing any longer. I really got the longing to be in his head and know whether he understood I was not actually trying to hurt him.

Well i am now starting the same road with my seven year old. We have an appointment on wednesday to the pediatrician to check him for a problem. He is very smart, just a lot of trouble focusing his attention. Our fam. dr. thinks he's just bored with the work, but he has other little quirks about him that indicate something else is going on. We shall see.

PRT winding down

2007-08-08T10:33:00.000-03:00

You know how when you've been away from home for a long time and you start the journey back, there's a little bit of excitement, but then when you know your five minutes away you get this real anxious quivery feeling and can't seem to get there fast enough?

Well, I have that feeling this month. The 14th will mark a year since PRT, and my life (which seems to have been paused) will resume. I have this giddy feeling in my stomach...like let's end this already!

Elijah's made some progress. He's able to pay attention now, and he really tries to talk. He has said: bubbles, bounce, pep(for pepermint), and others that I fail to remember at the moment. the words he says consistently: Hi, Poop(LOL), milk, awter(for water), and mom.

The whole point of this blog entry is this: PRT IS ENDING!

~on another note, prt means Elijah will start school.

My sweet daughter

2007-05-14T11:29:00.000-03:00

I had to share with everyone the sweet letter my 9 year old daughter stuck in my card yesterday. Keep in mind that she goes to french school and so her english writing isn't spec-on. Doesn't matter what spelling mistakes she made, it hit the spot.

WOW what a weekend

2007-04-25T23:59:00.000-03:00

Elijah "Buggie"

Evelina "Evie"

Arless and Michael best friends being little snipers!

Mom, Me, Diad

My beautiful sweet mom Turned 70, so we had her a b-day party on friday! Then on saturday her whole crew(there must have been close to 100) people went back to help clean around her yard. We had such a blast!!!! However with all the raking I did I certainly paid for it that night and the next day.

I am now on a two week break from PRT, house cleaning. Or trying to. Tomorrow(Thursday) is mine and Cliff's anniversary and we plan on spending Friday night away. My sister will be coming to our home to watch the kids for us. this is the first time we've ever did this without the kids and I'm a bit nervous and excited at the same time.

Well it's late and I must sign off.

Thursdays Question and short update

2007-04-19T10:21:00.000-03:00

Elijah's really getting the hang of this toilet training. Yesterday he only had one 'accident'.

Have decided I want to turn Elijah's amll room into a sensory room and so I'm putting things on ebay in an attempt to raise enough money and save it in my paypal. I'm proud to say that so far I've raised a little over 200! Can't wait until i have enough and can make his special place for him. he's not a child who plays with toys but he's all about sensory, visual type stuff. I just know this will make him so much happier and able to relax at night. that sounds selfish doesn't it, but the truth is...I NEED SLEEP!!!!!!!!

So I've decided to add a question(s) every thurday. Today it's two. one of my own and One from Gregory stocks book of questions.

1st: What things would you like me to blog about?

2nd:You discover your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mixup at the hospital, not yours. Would you want to exchange the child to try to correct the mistake?

have a great day
~R

2007-04-18T00:23:00.000-03:00

Yesterday was a stressful day! Elijah was just off about something. It were as though he reverted back to day one of toilet training. By five my nerves snapped and I put a pull-up on him. That was my first time of giving in and now I feel really badly about it. I had to do it though to keep my sanity. i'd cleaned up more bowel movements to last me a lifetime.

however, the Occupational Therapist came in the morning and he said apple and bubble for her. YEAH!!!!!! Way to go Elijah!!!!

Today however was a perfect day, he went to the bathroom on his own each time and was very happy and loveable.

Toilet training update

2007-04-14T21:37:00.000-03:00

So My Big Little Bug is doing much better.

This is the "toilet training tale":

My first day March 22 I do believe, Buggie(also noted as Elijah) woke up and I instantly put underwear and pants on him, about a half hour later, I'd changed him about 6-8 times and was frustrated. he'd gone up to his room when the community worker rang the doorbell to begin her morning of PRT. I was headed up the stairs with a good night pull-up. She said wait, let me call the occupational therapist and get her opinion.

The OT said that pull-up wasn't at all good for a child with autism if the goal was to toilet train him(well except at night). With underwear the child got the whole wet feeling down their legs and such so that was the best way to go. and once you start doing it, you can't change your mind because that was very confusing for the child. She suggested we load Buggie down with water and keep a close watch on his 'pee-pee'. and when he does go, if he's caught in the act to startle him with a sharp, "NO.' and then correct him by taking him to the toilet and saying "don't pee on the floor. pee goes in the toilet." By startling him it makes his bladder contract and the peeing stops and then he can finish on the toilet.

Well needless to say i got real tired of watching his pee-pee, so I opted for sticking my bear foor uner his thing if he was sitting. I must say I had my foot peed on a few times to many. It's been what 4 weeks now or close to it and I'm still on butt watch.

I do notice that if he has his pants off and the bathroom door is left open he'll go by himself, but with clothes....well that poses another problem.

for the last couple of days Elijah's been a little food monster. He's a big eater anyway...eats anything you give him, but yesterday and today he's just driving me crazy wanting food and I have to say no. But he's prosistant!!!!

Today the OT was here and she got 'apple' and 'bubble' out of him. Yippee!!!! She's so good with him, but when she works with him it's so hard for me to watch because she doesnt take any of his grunts or hums unless they have an actual word quality to them. which is probably for the best but it's hard to watch anyway.

Off to fold clothes...have a great day!

toilet training my little (big) Bug

2007-04-11T14:30:00.000-03:00

Toilet training a normal child isn't easy, but training an autistic one is far harder...trust me.

As long as he has no pants on he's fine and today he's gone all by his self. However when I take him to preschool and he has to have pants on they are having the hardest time getting him to go in the toilet.

So today I'm starting over...this time with underwear and pants. wish me luck!!!

~R
oh how I miss the respite worker. i didnt realize how much I look foreward to my thursday evenings when she takes Elijah for a bit, until she told me she was going to take a 6 week break on her docters orders. We are three weeks into that 6 week break.

Harry Potter Birthday

2007-02-20T16:14:00.000-04:00

This is a table leg I found in someones garbage along side of the road(I'm a garbage picker, lol), I spray painted it gold. Screwed on a plant pot and spray painted that gold and voila...the goblet of fire. I meant to add flames, but ran out of time.

This is one of the wands I made for every guest.

Hogwarts feast.

The spell book I made for every guest, this book included all the harry potter spells, there pronouncation and their meaning.

Kinda sorry I didnt get to take a picture before potions class was actually started. I had about five bottles with a pack of koolaid in each. I labeled each bottle. Example: dried dragon blood, fairy dust, ground wiggentree bark, ground slug, dried flubberworm mucus. I had each child a potion bottle and I added water for them and they were so repulsed they wouldnt even taste it. Of course I didn't tell them it was koolaide!

I didnt get a picture of the transfiguration class(although I could have swarm that I had). For this I had each child a plastic cauldren. At halloween I had bought these pill shaped things that when immersed in water they turn into snakes, or ghost, or witches, etc... I put them in three real pill bottles and told the children that prior to their arrival a wizard had turn them into something more than regular muggle pills, and I'd labled the pills. The dark pills: demonic pills the white pills: magic pills. and all other colors were combined and I labeled them: enchanted pills.

I'd also sat up a pumkin patch like garden around a small door under my stairs and sat about 12 trolls in it. the children got to deknome the garden and the child who got the most in the whole got to visit the bonus bean room.

This is the potion book I made for each guest.

decorations!

more decorations

I totally loaded this room with jelly beans. the kids had a blast!

The official invitaion.

The day was a blast and the children all said it was the best birthday party they'd ever been too. one child even told his mom it was the best day of his life. they all cried when they had to leave.

I think i enjoyed it as much as they did.

back to the PRT thingamabobber

2007-02-07T13:07:00.000-04:00

In the last post I said I'd quit, and in my mind I still have!

Here's the gist of it all:

Elijah's main PRT worker doesn't want to let it go, and for awhile I was reluctant as well. I can handle the Speech therapist coming, she's really the only one I truly care to have come anyway. Well, I've went along with the preschool thing, I'm not totally happy with it but thats just me, i know it's the best thing for him right now.

The plan so far is he'll go Wednesday's and Fridays, in the afternoon. He'll still get Prt while he's there.

On to other news. My older sons b-day is on the 12th and we intend to have a party on the 17th. a Harry Potter party, invitations have gone out hogwarts style. *I'll take pics of the invitations as soon as I can and post them to the blog, there neat!

~R

PRT and Son reading food charts

2007-01-31T08:45:00.000-04:00

well, I did it.

It was a long, hard decision but I quit PRT. Have a lot of turmoil going on inside right now over it though. I don't want to have made the wrong choice.

Buggie will still be getting all the services just not on a daily basis.

My reasons for quiting:
1) my nerves
2) the rest of the house needs attention
3) arless’s spelling tests are suffering
4) arless’s reading is suffering
5) oh yeah my nerves
6) I need to be able to know I can make a mess when I want to and not have to worry about someone coming a seeing it
7) So I can get sleep at night(maybe.)
8) So I can spend days with mom and Diad
9) So I can feel like I’m a mom*
10) So I can exercise in the mornings
11) Etc…

*It's true I didn't feel like a Mom at all. It was to the point where it seemed everyone else was making decisions for not only Buggie, but the other children as well. I know that some of the autism team probably read this, but I have say it. I felt like every aspect of my life was under scrutiny, I was afraid to do anything because it may not be what they wanted me to do. I always prompt Buggie like I'm suppose to, but no one is 100% on their game and if I so happen to miss one thing that could have been used as a prompt, I was talked to about it. I was uptight to say the least.

I was always cornered, and felt as though I was never believed. I work like crazy to help Elijah but I had the feeling they didn't believe me that after they were gone I continued with the PRT, of course I don't follow him around all day, I have two other children, a husband and a 15 room house to keep clean...piles and piles of laundrey.

Still I worry about quiting, but my Hubby and my Mom are supporting my decision and that helps.

On another note: K0fC(my older son) can't take peanut butter sandwhiches to school anymore because of allergies in the school, which is understandable. The thing is, he won't eat anything but peanut butter sandwhiches. well, it took us awhile but we finally found that he'll take cereal and a spoon, buy milk and have cereal for dinner. Well this morning i got out his lunch bag and there was his cereal, the money was gone for the milk, but he hadn't eaten. I asked him about it, he said well I read on the milk and it says 8% fat so i dumped it out. Needless to say i was floored and heartbroken and it's made me reexamin my life. I have got to stop obsessing over my weight, i have to stop reading food charts in front of my children. Mostly we've been reading food charts because my hubby has high cholesterol.

I've been worried about my daughter getting obsessed about her weight, but it turns out it's the child I leat expected to.

I sent him to school today with cereal, he tells me he now understands that he needs to eat, and if he doesnt it could hurt him.

Mostly I'm at a loss, any insight would be helpfull by moms going though the same thing or anyone for that matter.

~R

Been so long since I've written...

2007-01-27T08:38:00.000-04:00

been overwhelmed with this whole PRT thing. Turns out it's not that easy to endure and I keep having mini-breakdowns because of the stress.

mostly it feels like my life is not my own. I've seriously been considering quiting, but I'm so afraid I'm being selfish.

I don't get to do the things I use to do anymore, this prt has invaded every aspect of my life. I use to spend at least 4 days a week helping Evie and Arly with test stuff they have every friday, now I just don't have the time. Elijah keeps me so busy with Prt, washing food off the ceilings, making sure he doesn't eat his pamper or feces.

Everything within me is saying for my sanity, and for my relationship with my children I need to quit.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

R

*sigh*

R

Practicing PRT

2006-08-17T21:54:00.000-03:00

I had so much fun with Buggie tonight!

Sunshine and KofC wanted to stay to sister#3's until it was time to read Harry Potter at 8, so DaddaHub and I gave into Buggie and let him play in a pan of water on the deck. May as well have let him get into the pool because by the time we were through he was soaked. First I just let him play in it without prompting because I wanted to go in while he was out and run a mop over the floors(something that hadn't been done all week). I looked out and DaddaHub was engrossed in a book and Buggie had dropped the whole pan of water down on his lap. i got him more and finished the mopping.

I went out and got the water soaker gun and sucked up some water with it from the pan. Elijah immediatly took his hand out of the water and got all excited over the gun. I gave him a tease, and then I prompted, "water". Instantly on cue he made an 'aaa' sound and I soaked him. I did that for a whole pan full of water and only twice did I have to prompt more than once. When it was all through I refilled the pan with warm water and splashed him a little with it on the belly. Squels of delight sounded. And I said "water". Instantly he responded. there was only enough water in the pan to do that three times But each time he just squeled but always calmed down enough to give me a great vocal request. Reluctantly we took him in the house, because it was 7:30 and getting chilly. not to mention he had seven visible new misquito bites.

When we got inside I took some toys upstairs and Elijah followed. I'd already cleaned up his room and mopped it, but he found the light chaser. I got control of it and prompted and he answered, but that was it. He jumped up on his bed. I got on the bed with him and held his arms at his side in such a way that he didn't know that I was holding him and I placed the light chaser to his nose and let it spin. He loved this and we got about 10-15 one try exchanges alternating from nose to tongue.

I personally think he's getting the connection, just not sure if he gets it more when there's not a crowd. We shall see.

~R

Day 4

2006-08-17T12:04:00.000-03:00

NAME IDENTIFIER:
~The IWK trainer will be named: curly
~The Occupational Therapist will be named: Gungho
~Elijah's primary prt worker will be named: friendly
~The behavior specialist will be called: Dr. Flirt
~Elijah will be called: Buggie
~my husband will be called: DaddaHub
~My daughter Evie will be called: Sunshine
~My son Arless will be called: KofC (king of crazy)
~the early interventionalist wull be called: Tender(just cause she speaks so tender)
~The speach Therapist will be called:p-n-p (prim and proper, just cause she seems so together)
______________

Usually I'm a night person. You know yawning and tired all day and then at five, ZAP, I'm wide awake and can't get myself to sleep. Well, yesterday was not that way at all. I zonked out in Elijah's cushion hole yesterday. Buggie was in his room playing and the cushion hole is by the stairs, so it was a safe place to sleep right where I could hear him if he went downstairs. So you'd think I'd be juiced but I was so tired for the rest of the evening.

Tender came last night and stayed for two hours. She didn't really play with Elijah since it was on her free time and really just wanted to visit and see how things were going. She's hoping to get some time in with Elijah and see how PRT is doing. I usually clean up at night so that i can get some writing done in the morning, but it wasn't working that way...my mistake was telling DaddaHub that i was just gonna rest my eyes a few minutes on the couch.

So on to todays session. Friendly came in the middle of all the rucus of me suiting Sunshine and KofC up to go to sister#3's. (just stepping in here to say Sunshine accomplished our goal for the summer to teach her to ride her Bike!!!Yippee!). Anyway, Friendly had the fun of dressing my naked Buggie, and then she got in a few responses, which I missed.

Buggie woke up totally hoarsed this morning, but it went away after a bit and was only slightly noticeable. However I think it still bothered him and maybe effected his ears to, cause after everyone left he seemed to really favor his right ear, pushing his hand into it and kind of wincing in pain. However I've already been warned by the doctor that they can't treat it(even if they see it's red) until he gets a fever, incase it's one of those incidences where it will get better on its own.

So soon after the rest of the team arrived and because Friendly was already playing with him, there wasn't the usual discussion right away. Friendly got some time in with him, although he wasn't that into it which was probably due to his throat being sore(he'd sceam and the last end of the scream would fade out with hoarseness). She did get some spinning in though.

At one point Buggy took off upstairs, so I made my request that maybe water play be off today because of his hoarseness and Curly took her minute to tell us what she decided should be done for the day. There was a lot I missed today cause I was kinda zoned out for some reason, but I think I caught the basics.

Firstly she said that perhaps today we could record his sounds(ex. mmm, baa, ia sounds) so naturally because she's the speach therapist P-n-P took over that job. She was looking for sounds the frequency they were used in, if the sound was applied to a certain toy, and how many prompts were made and which promps he actually answered to. So for example if you prompt for the ball ten times and he responded verbally on the third and tenth prompt then he'd she'd put 10 ticks beside ball and circle the third and tenth one.

Secondly, we were asked to watch for the possibility that he may not really be interested in anything at all. For example if he was playing with a block, and you took it from him and prompted for it and he took a long time to ask for it chances are he wasn't really interested in it anyway. .. which is so typical of Buggie. At one point she even said maybe he likes the fact that we are there so he's not leaving not because he wants the toy that your prompting for but just really likes the social aspect of it. So if he wasn't really making an effort for the prompted toy maybe we could remove ourselves away from him.

Thirdly, Curly said that the impression she got from Buggie was that he really didn't understand that he can do physical things. For example, if the opening to the blocks is visible from the front he understands that he can open them, yet when they are turned he doesn't comprehend that he can actually still get the blocks it's just that the block tote is turned. She used an example similiar to this: if us, as normal people, go to a door we know that we can turn the door knob, but Elijah just can't seem to make that connection with some things. She suggested that maybe not so much now but as he gets better at it we could help him get that connection that even though something has changed he can still do the same things with it.

Gungho got her time with Buggie upstairs in his room. She got some nice exchanges for a light chaser toy he hadn't played with much. And she did some tickling with him. I kinda missed it all cause i was downstairs having a quick breakfast. i did happen to catch the blanket game and he liked that for awhile. i was surprised that Buggie ddin't try to get the whole five of us on the bed with him, which is usually what he does! Typical male behavior!

So I got the hard part today -the tail end of the session. he'd had had his snack and we'd had ours(thanks Friendly for the yummy muffins!!) Buggie was sort of all over the place, seemed aggitated although he wasn't crying. i tried the blanket with him, but he just was too toned out. Although P-N-P did notice that I did get the quicker responses. Which is neat, such a nice change from a year ago when he couldn't stand to be in the same room as me.

So the morning went ok, not as good as yesterday, but still a success. Curly noticed that each day he seems a little more accepting of them. His self-stemming(spitting, chewing on hair) seems to be less frequent and he seems to stay quiet instead of all the humming he usually does.

seems like I'm missing something, If I think of anything else I'll be back.

EDITED TO ADD:

As soon as the team was out the door today Elijah came to me as oppsed to my usual hugging him and telling him he did a good job. He wanted me to bounce him on the trampoline. I think he was testing me to see if I would give him freebe's now that the others were gone cause when I prompted him he dropped to the trampoline and cried and cried. Afer a few minutes of tears he got up and very aggressively vocally sorta bully-like asked me to bounce him, which I did. Kind of interesting!

~R

Day 3 of PRT

2006-08-16T12:58:00.000-03:00

Today was a huge success!

NAME IDENTIFIER:

~The IWK trainer will be named: curly
~The Occupational Therapist will be named: Gungho
~Elijah's primary prt worker will be named: friendly
~The behavior specialist will be called: Dr. Flirt
~Elijah will be called: Buggie
~my husband will be called: DaddaHub
~My daughter Evie will be called: Sunshine
~My son Arless will be called: KofC (king of crazy)

To start off the session Curly said she and the rest of the team had analyzed the tapes from yesterday and she was gonna be a little contribicting of what she'd told us the previous day. She had told us to let him play with the toy without immediatly taking control of it and then putting a verbal antecedent on it. BUT because Elijah has such a small time limit of interest in any one thing that probably that wouldn't work. So now we have to for example if we have a balloon and bubbles and he chooses the bubbles, we kind of clear the balloon away and gain control of the bubbles with only allowing a few second to him having his freebe. Then once we get the bubbles, we say "Bubbles?" at each opportunity and then when he finally makes a verbal sound, because he's worked so hard, the consequence is for him to have a longer play time with it. Instead of blowing the bubbles once and then stopping for a verbal prompt, we may blow them two or three times. That way he's more motivated because the reward is so much better.

Not only was that to change but she noticed that about 10:30 he got antsy yesterday so perhaps at 10:30 I could step away and get a snack prepared and set it on the table and then if he was hungry he could just get a snack. Assuming that in his mind that's when he usually drags me to the kitchen, but now there's all this people playing with him and he forgets that he needs to grab my hand and take me to the kitchen. So we had to establish a schedule.

We got started, Friendly(I really need to find a better name for her)got first go and being the resourcful gal that she is she'd came equiped with balloons. Not having had balloons since July 4th(Sunshine's B-day) Friendly instantly had Buggie's attention. He did some really good "b' sounds, of course all when i was out of the room. The balloon was a huge hit and he played with it for a long time. He started doing crazy sounds with his cheeks which I instantly knew was a sound i do with him, so she told me to jump in and get my ten minutes. The check pushing was not a success, but pushing on his feet were and he did a lot of verbal response for that.

After 10:30 once he'd had a sandwhich, and a couple ritz crackers we decided to move out to the patio, because no one was dressed for the pool, we filled up a small tub with water and let him play in that. It was Dr. Flirt's turn to take over so she stood gaurd at the water tub and everytime Elijah came to her she'd try to keep him away without allowing him to touch her or struggling with him(because for reasons that I forget right now that's not good for Elijah. I'll ask that tomorrow if I remember). Because it was difficult I got my cutting board to cover the water tub. When Buggie noticed the cutting board he instantly went to the patio chair and began to lick it. Curly instantly let us know that as soon as the wanted behavior got harder(by the cutting board) he had to seek out a stimulate to sooth himself and that's why his licking the chair became much more frequent.

After a few good attemps, Gungho took over, her task was much harder(poor Gungho, she always gets the brunt it seems). We'd brought out a few more toys so he was jumping to fruit loops, water, chair, squirt gun and bubbles and at one point she said, "I need more than two hands'. It was getting harder by then and they'd filled up nearly 2 dvd's and he was ready for a break so they finished off the prompt: saying that since gungho had prompted 'water' and he wasn't interested they still wanted to make him say something so that they could leave without him thinking,"wow, look at that, I didn't say anything and so they left me alone." Makes since to me. Finally he gave a good indication with a verbal sound and he got a load of water on his face.

The session ended on a good note!

Tomorrow Dr. Flirt is going with another family for the day so that the speech therapist can have a day with Buggie.

So til then
~R

DAY 1&2 of Pivotal Response Treatment(PRT)

2006-08-15T12:49:00.000-03:00

2.00 yesterday began the journal for Elijah and us. The four woman showed up(I've attached little names to them instead of giving their full name).

~The IWK trainer will be named: curly
~The Occupational Therapist will be named: Gungho
~Elijah's primary prt worker will be named: friendly
~The behavior specialist will be called: Dr. Flirt (just cause she's worked arly over into loving her so keenly)
~Eliajh will be called: Buggie
~my husband will be called: DaddaHub

I was given a 21 pg. stappled together computer paper type book and Curly went over about 10 pages. Which was plenty. Basically all she said in those ten pages is: if Buggie gets interested in a toy you let him play with it awhile to determine that he is really interested in it. Let him know what it is. So for example: If he's playing with blocks you simple use the one word "block." as opposed to "You have a block"(too many words will confuse him). then you take the block gently from him(that's shared control), and you use the one word prompt in sort of a question, "Block?"(but that's only when he makes an attempt to get the block, or makes eye contact with you.

So we did this for about an hour until they said let's wrap it up and leave him while he's happy. Of course all of us interacting with him was recorded.

So this morning, after analizing the cd lastnight, Curly had a change she wanted to make. Because Elijah does a lot of babbling and humming, she said if we except that as a verbal behavior then he's gonna think we are rewarding the humming etc. Not only that but because Elijah's motivation is so short she thought maybe if we let him have a choice of activities. so we had to regroup and all be sure we understood. Gungho took the first shot, first she'd gone up and gotten peek-a-block toy, and she tried to get him interested. he wasn't so i ran upstairs and brought down adonut stacker type toy, a squeck toy he likes, some blocks, and a popcorn popper thing he likes.

Gungho took them and gave him the option to choose, once he reached foreward and chose the donut stacker, all the other toys had to be taken from his sight so he wouldn't do the basketball approach(which is sort of tricky you into thinking he wanted that so he could spring around and grab the one he really wanted(which he did a lot of yesterday))

But today was a bit tricky, he just wasn't interested or motivated or whatever. then DaddaHub (having got a few minutes off from work) came in. It didn't take Buggie long to spot him and he began tugging him to the trampoline. Gungho stepped aside and DaddaHub took over. He got in lots of "bounce' Prompts and then "bubbles", and then Buggy had had enough and he just cried non-stop.

We tried lots of things to get him motivated again, but it was 11 and he was hungry. While DaddaHub got him some frenchfries and water he cried and they wouldn't let me sooth him at all, until they were sure that abtecedent/prompt was lost. When he'd went upset DaddaHub had prompted for "bubbles" and they didn't want to interfer with that until they were sure he'd forgotten about it. Finally she said, "Now it's ok to sooth him a bit", and I hugged him, massaged him and did joint compressions. the joint compressions worked for a bitm but he was hungry.

Finally his food was ready.

First when he sat down at the food he was still quite stressed, but he eventually picked up the sippy cup and swished it around in his mouth. Curly told me that that Buggie understood what he needed to calm his arousal(which is basically his stress) and the water did that for him, cause he swished the one bouthful around on his toungue and teeth for about five minutes and slowly calmed himself. then he swallowed it and gave us all a huge grin.

All in all it ended out a good session cause when they left, he was happy, and that's important, so that when they arrive tomorrow he can remember that he was happy.

Well, it'll be a challenge for me as well as him, and I'm hoping to have a talking child when it's through.

~R

Zoo

2006-08-06T10:03:00.000-03:00

We went to the zoo yesterday. On the way to the zoo we stopped to this big lawnsale bash thingy. If you pay 5.00 for a table you can set up there, so there was all kinds of people(including my mom, which is why I stopped in the first place). Anyway I found some fubies for Evie at the table next to moms and so of course I had to find something for Arless. I began to search the tables and when I got to the last table I was shocked. There was a lady sat up with a mixture of two things: Toys and Pornography VHS's. The thing is there were kids there looking at the toys and right in the box next to the toys were some tapes with the picture's turned up to attract people. you could certainly see where the porn table was, it was the only table surrounded by men.

Well, we made it tot he zoo and thinking Elijah was gonna have a blast like last year we were anxious to get started.

SURPRISE!

He was in misery. I tried getting him to feed the goats and he just wouldn't even look at them. We hurried through, because Elijah just cried.

Well I managed to stay within my points yesterday and actually went to bed with some left over, which shouldn't happen.

PRT starts in a week. This Thursday is video recording day(to tape elijah for later comparison) and I'm hoping I won't have to be hear since my writers group is having an all day writing spree and I really want to go.

The pool

2006-08-01T13:36:00.000-03:00

Our place is small outside so we can't afford an egstravagant pool, but we went out and got a smaller one for the kids. we were so excited to see how Elijah got along with it because he is morbidly terrified of the tub.

Well, as we guessed he wasn't too thrilled. I'm the impatient one in the family and Clifford knows this so he warned me: don't you force him in either, or you'll ruin him for good. But as soon as Cliff was out of sight I lifted him and walked in the pool with him just letting his feet dangle. and sure enough he ran in the house and didn't come back out. I know I need a slap upside the head. Well that was about teo weeks ago.

Last week he would go around the pool and splash his hands in it, but the second he caught sight of the big bad momma he'd run back in the house. Last Saturaday Clifford got in and offered his hand to elijah who willingly got in. That was it he was in there for 2 whole hours, just walking around. Sunday he worked his way into sitting down and then yesterday he laid down.

I'll never understand him though, he'll play in there and yet, he's still terrified of the tub!

weight watchers

2006-07-30T16:00:00.000-03:00

I started weight watchers on Wednesday. It's a bit different from before, much more flexible.

I've added a counter to keep track of my progress. I only weigh-in on wednesday.

~R

Rescheduled PRT

2006-07-14T15:12:00.000-03:00

I can not believe how fast the year is going. We're in month seven. My daughter turned 9 on the 4th of july and almost stands my height.

Prt has been rescheduled and I'm told that the date is fixed, there will be no more changing. Well, because it starts August 14th my life has been hectic. The new workers are trying to get acquinted with him before the training starts because they want to be able to just focus on the therapy and not have to worry about winning him over.

Elijah is such a perfect canditate for it, he's already quite vocal with his babbling and near talking(not words but loads of sounds).

I'm anxious for the whole process to start, and struggling with wether i want to spend the time before cleaning or trying to get as much written as i can. After the PRT starts my writing will all but cease to exist.

Will keep you all informed.

Me, Buggie, and my disgusting kisses

2006-05-26T13:31:00.000-03:00

Buggie's a good little boy, but yesterday while I was in the middle of writing an email, with my tea and two very tiny loonie sized cookies). He marches over to me, pulled the cookie from my mouth and threw it over his shoulder and then demanded I pick him up. Once on my lap he proceeded to rub my face and neck and offered his lips to me for a kiss.

That was a change from this morning.

He NEVER hits, but that morning I grabbed him and tossed him on the 40" ball and then kissed him all over(he usually loves that). After I was through he followed me to my desk and requested I pick him up. I knew he was either mad or excited cause he was biting his lip and shaking. I picked him up and he placed a hand on each side of my head and just shook all over like he was fighting not to and then had to give into the desire and started punching me.

Usually if I kiss him(and I confess I do kiss him too much), and he doesn't want to be kissed. he'll make out that he wants to kiss me and then present me with a whole glob of spit right in my mouth. YUCK! But cute.

Lastnight was fitful. Elijah was still up at three when I became really sick and cliff took over for me. i am so hoping that the fact that he woke up earlier than i thought he would this morning that he will go to bed no problem tomorrow.

This is a super site, very heart wrenching as these women sound just like me. Go to the media file under Autism Everyday. If your a family member of an autistic child it'll sound so firmiliar i'm sure, if not please watch it. ..it'll help you understand.

~R

Treatment Log

2006-05-25T08:04:00.000-03:00

So I've decided today that as a way to keep track I will basically sum up each session from the treatment log I'm left at the end of each session. I intend to try to figure out how to make a new colum on the side bar so that I can have a quick character reference. Instead of telling each person's name I'll call them by a characteristic. Ex. The speech therapist will be known as a Little miss Prim and proper.

Now when the PRT starts I'm not sure they'll continue with the treatment logs, but until then:

Date: May 19th 2006
treatment by: Little Miss Prim and proper

Purpose/Goals of the Visit: verbal/non-verbal communication play.
Observations/results/progress: canonic babbling/mi mi mi/lifted apple to clinicians mouth to pretend feed with minimal assistance. Vocalization to request tickling x3. Excellent eye contact in play. Mainly interested in bouncing-some play with a ball and blocks.
Suggestions/Ideas given today: Try working on early play-getting Buggie to fed you, rolling cars, balls, cause-n-effect toys. Keep trying to get vocalization for your people games (tickling, etc.)
next visit: June 2nd @9 am

Too funny

2006-05-19T13:49:00.000-03:00

cool finger

Outstanding numbers

2006-05-07T11:41:00.000-03:00

Autism in USA

Autism in Canada

These are outstanding numbers!

Help Cure Autism

Autism awareness

this is a worthy post but a short post.

I'm in a hurry to get my kids to sunday school.

~R

What is Autism?

2006-05-06T11:20:00.000-03:00

This a great explaination of what Autism is.

Last night Clifford and I took Buggie to Walmart. Clifford was finally well enough to go get Jewel's new CD(which by the way is AWESOME). Buggie was just so happy to be out of the house that he did a lot of happy squealing. Everyone just stared at him. I often wonder if people stare because they think he's bad. I do think so. Sometimes I just wanna tell them and if my daughter was with me she would have. She declares it proudly. LOL

Anyway, I finally have a stroller for him. Cost a whooping $1000. So glad that the inhome support bought it. He's too big for a normal stroller so we had to have a special one for him. he loves it! the picture above is basically what it looks like. the only thing is that ours has padding on the seat.

~R

A small dose of info

2006-05-05T10:47:00.000-03:00

Well, Erin, The speech therapist was here this morning and she gave me some insite as to how the PRT schedule will work, although she's not positive herself since she will be doing just regular visits.

She tells me it will depend on Pam, who will be the more frequent visitor. Erin says that if Pam decides to come in three days a week that between herself, Kim(the early interventionalist) and Joanne(the Occupational therapist) they will cover the days she doesn't come in.

Their main concern is getting Buggie to make the link between his voice and a request action. Meaning making him realize that when he wants bubbles he only gets them if he makes an approximent sound. The idea is that maybe with constant reinforcment he may finally make that connection.

I'm Excited to get started. Hopefully have the routine in his life will get his sleeping pattern in order. I've been up until 12 every night this week, last night he lasted til 2:30.

I'm quite dizzy, headachy, and exhausted today. Unlike him who's in a bouncy happy mood.

Zzzzzzzzz

oops

chiao

whaaaahooooo

2006-05-02T21:36:00.000-03:00

Buggie's been choosen for the Pivotal response training(here on out to be referred to as PRT). I got the official call yesterday and had a whole mix of feelings. I'm so excited. He so deserves it, he's just the most incrediable little boy. It requires some personal sacrifice on my part as well. I will have to set writing aside(somewhat), and will also have to over come my own social disorder and get use to the home invasion.

I intend to keep a little diary here about the progress. Looking at it as a sort of research as well, since I have a harlequin romance story up my sleeve that involves a single dad and an autistic child or maybe a single mom and an autistic child. Not too sure.

~R

Self esteem

2006-04-19T18:20:00.000-03:00

Thanks to Fat bitch for pointing me to this...this was a real eye opener

You Have Low Self Esteem 72% of the Time

You tend to blame yourself when things go wrong, regardless of whether it's your fault or not.You're anxious to please others and rely too much on their opinions. Learn to please yourself first, and your confidence will soar.

How is Your Self Esteem?

What type of cat demon are you?

2006-03-08T13:28:00.000-04:00

PLayful cat! You are the playful cat! Fun-loving
and slightly crazy describe you best! You
always like to be where the party is and
always are the funny one in groups. You are
probably a very active person and very nice
to ALMOST everybody.

What type of cat demon are you?

mardi Gras starts today

2006-02-28T08:48:00.000-04:00

If I were going to Mardi Gras...

AND:

Or Would that be a halloween costume?

I remember reading a Janet Dailey novel that focused on the mardi gras.

Always wanted to go see what the hype was about.

R

my past life?....How morbid

2005-12-08T22:15:00.000-04:00

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Banished Assassin.
Where You Lived: Texas.
How You Died: Killed in Battle.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

My BlOg TyPe

2005-11-03T15:50:00.000-04:00

Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde

You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog.You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head.Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent.You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content.

What's" Your Blogging Personality?

Comfortably Numb

2005-08-19T14:52:00.000-03:00

Comfortably Numb

Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?
Come on, now.
I hear you're feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.
Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts,
Can you show me where it hurts?
There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I can't explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.
Ok.
Just a little pinprick.
There'll be no more ...Aaaaaahhhhh!
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working. Good.
That'll keep you going for the show.
Come on it's time to go.
There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

@Pink Floyd

nonsense

2005-08-09T15:33:00.000-03:00

Haven't written in awhile. Have been writing. Mostly flash fiction stuff for the forum I host on www.writersbbs.com .

Saturday we went school shopping for supplies. Arless had his heart set on a spongbob book bag and it took Evie forever to decide. We finally got out of the mall about 3 hours later. My feet were aching! but we had fun.

Sunday Cliff wasn't feeling very good so we skipped sunday school and sat around in a dirty house all day.

Then Monday I cleaned the house from top to bottom and folded clothes.

Now here it is on Tuesday. I woke up at 8, came down and listened from the bottom of the steps to a conversation that Arless and Evie was having. Arless was teling her that for Chistmas he wants a DVD burner for his computer and a whole spindle of blank DVD's. Evie was trying to change his mind and convince him to ask for toys. But arless could not be swayed. I thought that it was sooooo cute....a miniture clifford(a computeraholic).

I am not really in the mood to write right now....the sweat is pouring off of me a gallon a minute. Shall return....maybe with some exciting stuff to write about!

better day, but a battle of the earwigs

2005-08-06T10:07:00.000-03:00

Yesterday was better! (Hence the title of this post)

I got up at about 7am and scurried around to clean the house because a possible respite worker for Elijah was coming at 10. Elijah woke up at nine and I did the usual: washed him, changed him, brushed him down and did joint compressions. He willingly ate his breakfast with absolutely no coaxing from me, so I knew that we had a good start on the day.

I meant this woman who I'll just call Jo. Elijah took an instant liking to her, licked her about to death. I gave her the lowdowns on Elijah-the good the bad and the ugly. and she told me about other kids she was working with. We exchanged numbers and she left.

I made dinner-which Elijah didn't eat. But he did eat a gronolea bar.

I was sitting up to write when Marissa called and said that Michael was crying to come down and could he, so I reluctantly said 'yes". Why reluctantly? Well, I haven't written all week so I was really looking foreward to writing. But Arly would be happy so what the hey!

But turns out Michael, Marissa and Del all came. So there went my day. But elijah was perfect for the whole day! Absolutely no crying. It would have been the perfect day for writing. But that's not theway my life works!

We all went to the children's meeting that night. I didn't feel like going but we did. I was sick by the times we got there because I had only eaten a cheese sandwich all day. I ate a couple hotdogs and then we went in the meeting.

Elijah was rawled up from beig able to roam outside that he plump out refused to sit in the meeting. I told Cliff to take him for a walk to the van and get his brush and maybe that would calm him down enough to get through the meeting.

But the brush was a no go, and instead he grabbed hold on my shirt with his teeth(he was aiming for skin) and bit so hard I heard threads break. Cliff had to take him out.

Well the meeting got about 15 minutes into it, when I noticed that the chair in front of me had an earwig crawling up it. I looked around for something to kill it with and ended up taking off my shoee and flipping it off the woman sitting in the chair. She was oblivious...still today she doesn't know that I rescued her from the bite of an earwig(ewww, my skin is crawling at just the thought). Anyway I loked down at the grass at my feet(the meeting was in a tent), and saw loads of them. So I wedged my skirt up under me and fixed my feet awkardly on each leg of the chair in front of me. Then I noticed the woman in front of me had a big spider on her, I poked Ants(my brother) and told him to get it and he wasn't as conspicious as me cause the woman turned and looked at him like, "what the heck? Paws off, I'm old enough to be your Mother."

I only had to drop my legs once. Why? Well, while sitting up front listening to stories about Our Soul(which is the real you) is loved by God, Arless had an inkling that maybe he better come back and kiss me. So I had to drop my legs dangerously close to a daddy long legged spider(which I then squished) in order to get the big wet kiss on my cheek. I wispered and told him he wasn't gonna get the quiet seat because he wasn't being quietand he scooted on up front again. But he did get it. LOL

I don't understand why he wanted to kiss me. He's like those abusive men who tell you they love you one minute and then abuse you the next. Just before we left to go to the meeting, he told me that Mariah(my neice) was beautiful like Jessica Simpson, and I was 'big and fat" like Meatloaf.

Needless to say, I left the meeting with muscle cramps and had to have the air condition on my face the whole way home, because I felt so sick.

Cliff had spent the hour walking with Elijah, but Cliff was smiling when I came out. HE NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME! Then I thought, walk for an hour or battle earwigs? hmmmm....I think he got the better deal.

Well our intention was to go grocery shopping, but once we got going we realized that we neither one had brought our bank cards with us. So we decided to combine grocery shopping with school supply shopping on Saturday(today).

We came home and stopped to foodland, rented "Finding Neverland" and me , Cliff and Evie watched it together.

Elijah went to sleep without the brushing at about 10. Something suited him yesterday. Hmm maybe cause he didn't eat even one page out of a book yesterday. Maybe it's the ink. I bought tote boxes...I have to pack the books away. Hate to, but The EI are going to get him a laminated book and see if he can manage to eat that.

Well, we soon have to leave for Yarmouth. So I'm gonna sign out and go shower.

Peace out!

Biserk part 2 0f Aug 4th

2005-08-04T19:59:00.000-03:00

I thought I had it made today, So I worked in the morning with all intentions of writing the afternoon away. Things started out smoothly. I woke Elijah up at about 9, and brought him downstairs where a wet wash cloth, clothes, pamper and his clothes were waiting for him. He did the usual and then I brushed him down, and did joint compressions and he was fine all morning.

Then noon came and I made him spaghetti...which of course he refused, but I sat it on one of his cube chair's upsides to table position and figured it was a waste. Surprisingly he actually ate it. That was great. Things were ooking promising. By 1:30 all the work was out the way and I settled down to see if I could get some writing done.

but...

at promply 2:00, Elijah began to cry. I immediatly got the brush and went through the whole brushing protocal and Joint compessions, but to no avail. Sure he loved it like always, but he was ticked about something and there was no way a brush was gonna do the trick this time. So I cuddled and sang, and brushed his hair, and tried toys after toys, sippy cups, toast, apples, etc.... he cried straight til 5.

Quarter to five I called Cliff and said, "please do anythin in your power to come home at five". And he did. He walks in the toy room and at the first sight of him, Elijah scoots up from the floor with his arms out and I can here Cliff in there cooing, "there you go. Its alright. Don't cry". AND......

VOILA.........

The crying completely stops.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! to infinity and beyond! Whatever it is He wants I obviously do not have! And that's frustrating to high heavens!

After Cliff's here, he lets me near him, he lets me sing. He steals my food and comes out of his toyroom!

All I ask is for a sign. Just 1 eensy teeny weeny light to give me some insight into the goings on in his head. I know I have run myself raggied trying to figure it out.

Evie and Arless spent the day adopting neopets from the internet...I don't know what that intails bt I do know they had a ball. I was sooooo glad that Arly actually gave me a break with his music today.

They're gone to Children's meetings again tonight...and then they'll talk me to death when they get home.

Better get some of my novel written before they get here,

Wish me luck on a better day tomorrow.

'oda

Yesterday

2005-08-04T07:56:00.000-03:00

Anyone who does not have a child with autism or a special need can never understand the frustration that comes with it. My little Buggy is my whole world and I tell him so all the time. The big clincher is that I have no idea if he even understands me!

About 4 weeks ago he had a bowel movement and played in it as he sometimes does if "if you don't get to it, before he does", and so naturally he needed a bath. I alway wash him sitting down or standing up(but that's a rarety). Because he had his BM everywhere I was finding it hard to get it out of all the crevices of his body, so I attempted to lay him down. Big Mistake! He became to petrified. I instantly stopped and washed him off quickly and took him out. Then cradled him and told him I was sorry! I was feeling like Andrea Yates!

Two days later I attemped to put him in the tub and he just wouldn't go. He wouldn't even go through the door. Seeing how distraught he was I let it go. When Clifford came home I told him and he filled up the tub and took him in(so certain he'd be different with him), but it was the same old thing. So he got a wash pan and washed him that way. That was fine until last Tuesday when he decided that he was also terrified of the wash pan too. I had to force him to be cleaned, but after when I finally dressed him and let him go. He went to his cushions and buried his head. I went inside to let him know I was sorry and, yes for my peace of mind, cuddle him and tell him I needed to bathe him and that I wasn't just doing it to be a mean Mom. But the instant I walked in the room he shrieked and seemed to breath heavy and hide from me. I was a broken Mom all day! I felt like I'd done something wrong.

I called Mom! I told her I was frustrated and, though I tried my best not to, I cried. She told me that she knew exactly what I was going through and that it would get better with time. She said that when Tanya(my handicap sister) use to tell her that she hated her and wanted to be anywhere but home, it bothered her. Until she realized that it was just her mid and that actually she thought as much for her as she did for anyone else. I felt a bit better.

But I called Clifford anyway and seeing how upset I was, he wanted to come home to see if he could calm him down(Buggy always prefers Cliff to me). Elijah cuddled into Cliff took a granola bear and a sippy cup from im(though he hadn't eaten allday). But Cliff could only stay for a few minutes, so as soon as he left, Buggy went back to burying his head in his cushions terrified of the Evil MOMMA, and the evil Mom spent the rest of the day in tears.

I called Sue(Elijah's community support and mental health worker) for suggstions, but she was on vacations. I researched the internet and found similiar cases but in lots there was a lot of "I force my child in the tub once a week" and they made that seem ok. To me that is not ok. This kid obviously has been so out of wack that one small fear has grown into a sort of phobia, I was not about to 'force' Elijah(Buggy) into anything. Wouldn't that only make the fear worse?

Cliff came home at 5:30 and Elijah was a differnt child, he was even ok with me laying on the cishions with him and singing to him.

So yesterday, my angel's showed up. Yes, to me that's what they are like. I've been told it's silly to let all these people in my home all the time to help Elijah because it was so unneccesary. I totally do not agree. There have been many times these very same people have been mysaving grace. Marjorie(occupational therapist) came in carrying a wierd looking brush, a long tube-like vibrating thingy that looked like one of those double penetrating viborators and a long purple massage tool.

The speech therapist(who has become one of the sweetest women I know) was with her and with both there help they explained to this weeping Mom that I was doing everything fine and that what I needed to do was have Elijah start associating me with something good for a change. So let Cliff bath him from now on, while I sit to the side blowing bubbles for him and then when things are all down gently rub him down with the brush.

So that brings me to the brush. Marjorie quickly went to work at elijah with this 21/2 x 11/2 white very soft brush. Explaining to me that he had a lot of anxiety going on inside of him and this would help relieve that. I had my doubts until I saw how he went into a dream-like state as she did it and when she stopped he's quickly extend his arm for more.

After a quick lesson in how to do the brushing and how to do the joint compressions that go along with the brushing. They left and I was left with the brush.

That night at around 10 I brushed him a bit(not much) and he was out, but the phone rang and woke him up and then my brother and his wife returned from Childrens meetings with Evie and Arless. They were all rowdy and anxious to recap the evening. But at about 10:30, Evie and Arly were in bed and I went back to Elijah. I gave him another quick brushing and he seemed to go like puddy in my hand. He was laying on his back but he would let his mouth hang open and let his tongue hag out, within minutes he was to sleep.

So as you can tell that brush has been my saviour. I haven't been able to get in bed before midnight for months! This brushing procedure surely worked for me and I would recommend it to any parent who are having big sensory issuies with their child.

It is almost 9am and I have to hav my breakfast. Time to go. But I will be back with more as

soon as I possibly can.

Toodles!

The Brush!

2005-08-03T23:34:00.000-03:00

I had a busy day today, but I'll write tomorrow.

Leaving you with this picture: Could this brush be the answer to my prayers?

No time to get into the details tonight....gotta catch some zzzzz

I SHALL RETURN!

http://www.uniqueprints-si-therapy.com/Wilbarger.html

Goodnight!

My first blog entry

2005-08-02T22:14:00.000-03:00

Named this blog after my current WIP. Why? who the heck knows. Maybe because it sems so out of reach that it feels good to see it out there for the world to see.

Not having the best time finding time to actualluy write something creative. Last time I heard from Gwen, my main character, she was walking in circles on a boat, debating on whether she should stop and let that handome, barrell-chested man catch up to her. I vote she stops but she's having thoughts of suicide. Well, she's haveing thoughts that maybe she should jump. Dumb idea! Doubt she'll follow through with it. We all have crazy thoughts when we're in a fix.....don't we?

Well, I'm having a real ball-not really :(-trying to understand this little boy of mine. He's confusing that's for sure. what I would give for just thirty seconds in his head. About three weeks ago-being the terrible mother that am-I scared him of the tub when I tried to lay him down and he hasn't gotten in since. I have been using a wash pan to bathe him. Well today he took a hissy fit and has suddenly decided he's scared of that too. Needless to say I was distraught! He has autism and I know I can not push him into anything. We have to find a happy medium and I am at a loss as to what that happy medium could be.

*sigh*

From 8 am til 5:30 he didn't eat a mouthfull. My hubby comes home and he instantly gulps the food down for him! What am I doing wrong?

*double sigh*