PRT and Son reading food charts

well, I did it.

It was a long, hard decision but I quit PRT. Have a lot of turmoil going on inside right now over it though. I don't want to have made the wrong choice.

Buggie will still be getting all the services just not on a daily basis.

My reasons for quiting:
1) my nerves
2) the rest of the house needs attention
3) arless’s spelling tests are suffering
4) arless’s reading is suffering
5) oh yeah my nerves
6) I need to be able to know I can make a mess when I want to and not have to worry about someone coming a seeing it
7) So I can get sleep at night(maybe.)
8) So I can spend days with mom and Diad
9) So I can feel like I’m a mom*
10) So I can exercise in the mornings
11) Etc…

*It's true I didn't feel like a Mom at all. It was to the point where it seemed everyone else was making decisions for not only Buggie, but the other children as well. I know that some of the autism team probably read this, but I have say it. I felt like every aspect of my life was under scrutiny, I was afraid to do anything because it may not be what they wanted me to do. I always prompt Buggie like I'm suppose to, but no one is 100% on their game and if I so happen to miss one thing that could have been used as a prompt, I was talked to about it. I was uptight to say the least.

I was always cornered, and felt as though I was never believed. I work like crazy to help Elijah but I had the feeling they didn't believe me that after they were gone I continued with the PRT, of course I don't follow him around all day, I have two other children, a husband and a 15 room house to keep clean...piles and piles of laundrey.

Still I worry about quiting, but my Hubby and my Mom are supporting my decision and that helps.

On another note: K0fC(my older son) can't take peanut butter sandwhiches to school anymore because of allergies in the school, which is understandable. The thing is, he won't eat anything but peanut butter sandwhiches. well, it took us awhile but we finally found that he'll take cereal and a spoon, buy milk and have cereal for dinner. Well this morning i got out his lunch bag and there was his cereal, the money was gone for the milk, but he hadn't eaten. I asked him about it, he said well I read on the milk and it says 8% fat so i dumped it out. Needless to say i was floored and heartbroken and it's made me reexamin my life. I have got to stop obsessing over my weight, i have to stop reading food charts in front of my children. Mostly we've been reading food charts because my hubby has high cholesterol.

I've been worried about my daughter getting obsessed about her weight, but it turns out it's the child I leat expected to.

I sent him to school today with cereal, he tells me he now understands that he needs to eat, and if he doesnt it could hurt him.

Mostly I'm at a loss, any insight would be helpfull by moms going though the same thing or anyone for that matter.

~R

Been so long since I've written...

been overwhelmed with this whole PRT thing. Turns out it's not that easy to endure and I keep having mini-breakdowns because of the stress.

mostly it feels like my life is not my own. I've seriously been considering quiting, but I'm so afraid I'm being selfish.

I don't get to do the things I use to do anymore, this prt has invaded every aspect of my life. I use to spend at least 4 days a week helping Evie and Arly with test stuff they have every friday, now I just don't have the time. Elijah keeps me so busy with Prt, washing food off the ceilings, making sure he doesn't eat his pamper or feces.

Everything within me is saying for my sanity, and for my relationship with my children I need to quit.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

R

*sigh*

R