well, I did it.
It was a long, hard decision but I quit PRT. Have a lot of turmoil going on inside right now over it though. I don't want to have made the wrong choice.
Buggie will still be getting all the services just not on a daily basis.
My reasons for quiting:
1) my nerves
2) the rest of the house needs attention
3) arless’s spelling tests are suffering
4) arless’s reading is suffering
5) oh yeah my nerves
6) I need to be able to know I can make a mess when I want to and not have to worry about someone coming a seeing it
7) So I can get sleep at night(maybe.)
8) So I can spend days with mom and Diad
9) So I can feel like I’m a mom*
10) So I can exercise in the mornings
11) Etc…
*It's true I didn't feel like a Mom at all. It was to the point where it seemed everyone else was making decisions for not only Buggie, but the other children as well. I know that some of the autism team probably read this, but I have say it. I felt like every aspect of my life was under scrutiny, I was afraid to do anything because it may not be what they wanted me to do. I always prompt Buggie like I'm suppose to, but no one is 100% on their game and if I so happen to miss one thing that could have been used as a prompt, I was talked to about it. I was uptight to say the least.
I was always cornered, and felt as though I was never believed. I work like crazy to help Elijah but I had the feeling they didn't believe me that after they were gone I continued with the PRT, of course I don't follow him around all day, I have two other children, a husband and a 15 room house to keep clean...piles and piles of laundrey.
Still I worry about quiting, but my Hubby and my Mom are supporting my decision and that helps.
On another note: K0fC(my older son) can't take peanut butter sandwhiches to school anymore because of allergies in the school, which is understandable. The thing is, he won't eat anything but peanut butter sandwhiches. well, it took us awhile but we finally found that he'll take cereal and a spoon, buy milk and have cereal for dinner. Well this morning i got out his lunch bag and there was his cereal, the money was gone for the milk, but he hadn't eaten. I asked him about it, he said well I read on the milk and it says 8% fat so i dumped it out. Needless to say i was floored and heartbroken and it's made me reexamin my life. I have got to stop obsessing over my weight, i have to stop reading food charts in front of my children. Mostly we've been reading food charts because my hubby has high cholesterol.
I've been worried about my daughter getting obsessed about her weight, but it turns out it's the child I leat expected to.
I sent him to school today with cereal, he tells me he now understands that he needs to eat, and if he doesnt it could hurt him.
Mostly I'm at a loss, any insight would be helpfull by moms going though the same thing or anyone for that matter.
~R
2 comments:
Good for you Rhoda! You did the right thing for both your sanity and your household! You still have the knowledge from the lessons you learned with the PRT team and can carry them on but at your own pace.
As for your weight, first be happy with how you are and then work to change things a little at a time. It's more important to be healthy than trim, right? I'm glad you're taking time to spend with your kids. They need you! :) And maybe you can pop by the blog more if you have time. :)
thanks for visiting Auram you're a sweety.
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