School

Well school has been a very positive experience for Elijah. He gets on the bus anxious to go, and they bring him home at 11:30 crying to go back! School has helped him so much, I see more change in him everyday! We wait for the bus each morning without me having to hold his hand. He seems so independant. I know he has far to go, but his beginning has been such a sucess.

This little boy is my everything! I want him to be the best that he can be! I wish I could just be in his head for awhile and know if he even understands how much I love him. Today i was acting out the fool with him and mistakingly hit his loose tooth in the front. It started to bleed and I apologized over and over to him and hugged him, but after that he was not interested in playing any longer. I really got the longing to be in his head and know whether he understood I was not actually trying to hurt him.

Well i am now starting the same road with my seven year old. We have an appointment on wednesday to the pediatrician to check him for a problem. He is very smart, just a lot of trouble focusing his attention. Our fam. dr. thinks he's just bored with the work, but he has other little quirks about him that indicate something else is going on. We shall see.

PRT winding down

You know how when you've been away from home for a long time and you start the journey back, there's a little bit of excitement, but then when you know your five minutes away you get this real anxious quivery feeling and can't seem to get there fast enough?

Well, I have that feeling this month. The 14th will mark a year since PRT, and my life (which seems to have been paused) will resume. I have this giddy feeling in my stomach...like let's end this already!

Elijah's made some progress. He's able to pay attention now, and he really tries to talk. He has said: bubbles, bounce, pep(for pepermint), and others that I fail to remember at the moment. the words he says consistently: Hi, Poop(LOL), milk, awter(for water), and mom.

The whole point of this blog entry is this: PRT IS ENDING!

~on another note, prt means Elijah will start school.

My sweet daughter

I had to share with everyone the sweet letter my 9 year old daughter stuck in my card yesterday. Keep in mind that she goes to french school and so her english writing isn't spec-on. Doesn't matter what spelling mistakes she made, it hit the spot.

WOW what a weekend

Elijah "Buggie"

Evelina "Evie"

Arless and Michael best friends being little snipers!

Mom, Me, Diad

My beautiful sweet mom Turned 70, so we had her a b-day party on friday! Then on saturday her whole crew(there must have been close to 100) people went back to help clean around her yard. We had such a blast!!!! However with all the raking I did I certainly paid for it that night and the next day.

I am now on a two week break from PRT, house cleaning. Or trying to. Tomorrow(Thursday) is mine and Cliff's anniversary and we plan on spending Friday night away. My sister will be coming to our home to watch the kids for us. this is the first time we've ever did this without the kids and I'm a bit nervous and excited at the same time.

Well it's late and I must sign off.

~R

Thursdays Question and short update

Elijah's really getting the hang of this toilet training. Yesterday he only had one 'accident'.

Have decided I want to turn Elijah's amll room into a sensory room and so I'm putting things on ebay in an attempt to raise enough money and save it in my paypal. I'm proud to say that so far I've raised a little over 200! Can't wait until i have enough and can make his special place for him. he's not a child who plays with toys but he's all about sensory, visual type stuff. I just know this will make him so much happier and able to relax at night. that sounds selfish doesn't it, but the truth is...I NEED SLEEP!!!!!!!!

So I've decided to add a question(s) every thurday. Today it's two. one of my own and One from Gregory stocks book of questions.

1st: What things would you like me to blog about?

2nd:You discover your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mixup at the hospital, not yours. Would you want to exchange the child to try to correct the mistake?

have a great day
~R

Yesterday was a stressful day! Elijah was just off about something. It were as though he reverted back to day one of toilet training. By five my nerves snapped and I put a pull-up on him. That was my first time of giving in and now I feel really badly about it. I had to do it though to keep my sanity. i'd cleaned up more bowel movements to last me a lifetime.

however, the Occupational Therapist came in the morning and he said apple and bubble for her. YEAH!!!!!! Way to go Elijah!!!!

Today however was a perfect day, he went to the bathroom on his own each time and was very happy and loveable.

~R

Toilet training update

So My Big Little Bug is doing much better.

This is the "toilet training tale":

My first day March 22 I do believe, Buggie(also noted as Elijah) woke up and I instantly put underwear and pants on him, about a half hour later, I'd changed him about 6-8 times and was frustrated. he'd gone up to his room when the community worker rang the doorbell to begin her morning of PRT. I was headed up the stairs with a good night pull-up. She said wait, let me call the occupational therapist and get her opinion.

The OT said that pull-up wasn't at all good for a child with autism if the goal was to toilet train him(well except at night). With underwear the child got the whole wet feeling down their legs and such so that was the best way to go. and once you start doing it, you can't change your mind because that was very confusing for the child. She suggested we load Buggie down with water and keep a close watch on his 'pee-pee'. and when he does go, if he's caught in the act to startle him with a sharp, "NO.' and then correct him by taking him to the toilet and saying "don't pee on the floor. pee goes in the toilet." By startling him it makes his bladder contract and the peeing stops and then he can finish on the toilet.

Well needless to say i got real tired of watching his pee-pee, so I opted for sticking my bear foor uner his thing if he was sitting. I must say I had my foot peed on a few times to many. It's been what 4 weeks now or close to it and I'm still on butt watch.

I do notice that if he has his pants off and the bathroom door is left open he'll go by himself, but with clothes....well that poses another problem.

for the last couple of days Elijah's been a little food monster. He's a big eater anyway...eats anything you give him, but yesterday and today he's just driving me crazy wanting food and I have to say no. But he's prosistant!!!!

Today the OT was here and she got 'apple' and 'bubble' out of him. Yippee!!!! She's so good with him, but when she works with him it's so hard for me to watch because she doesnt take any of his grunts or hums unless they have an actual word quality to them. which is probably for the best but it's hard to watch anyway.

Off to fold clothes...have a great day!

~R

toilet training my little (big) Bug

Toilet training a normal child isn't easy, but training an autistic one is far harder...trust me.

As long as he has no pants on he's fine and today he's gone all by his self. However when I take him to preschool and he has to have pants on they are having the hardest time getting him to go in the toilet.

So today I'm starting over...this time with underwear and pants. wish me luck!!!

~R
oh how I miss the respite worker. i didnt realize how much I look foreward to my thursday evenings when she takes Elijah for a bit, until she told me she was going to take a 6 week break on her docters orders. We are three weeks into that 6 week break.

Harry Potter Birthday

This is a table leg I found in someone's garbage along side of the road(I'm a garbage picker, lol), I spray painted it gold. Screwed on a plant pot and spray painted that gold and voila...the goblet of fire. I meant to add flames, but ran out of time.

This is one of the wands I made for every guest.

Hogwarts feast.

The spell book I made for every guest, this book included all the harry potter spells, there pronunciation and their meaning.

Kind of sorry I didn't get to take a picture before potions class was actually started. I had about five bottles with a pack of koolaid in each. I labeled each bottle. Example: dried dragon blood, fairy dust, ground wiggentree bark, ground slug, dried flubberworm mucus. I had each child a potion bottle and I added water for them and they were so repulsed they wouldn't even taste it. Of course I didn't tell them it was koolaide!

I didn't get a picture of the transfiguration class(although I could have swarm that I had). For this I had each child a plastic cauldron. At Halloween I had bought these pill shaped things that when immersed in water they turn into snakes, or ghost, or witches, etc... I put them in three real pill bottles and told the children that prior to their arrival a wizard had turn them into something more than regular muggle pills, and I'd labelled the pills. The dark pills: demonic pills the white pills: magic pills. and all other colors were combined and I labeled them: enchanted pills.

I'd also sat up a pumpkin patch like garden around a small door under my stairs and sat about 12 trolls in it. the children got to de-gnome the garden and the child who got the most in the whole got to visit the bonus bean room.

This is the potion book I made for each guest.

decorations!

more decorations

more decorations

more decorations

I totally loaded this room with jelly beans. the kids had a blast!

The official invitation.

The day was a blast and the children all said it was the best birthday party they'd ever been too. one child even told his mom it was the best day of his life. they all cried when they had to leave.

I think I enjoyed it as much as they did.

back to the PRT thingamabobber

In the last post I said I'd quit, and in my mind I still have!

Here's the gist of it all:

Elijah's main PRT worker doesn't want to let it go, and for awhile I was reluctant as well. I can handle the Speech therapist coming, she's really the only one I truly care to have come anyway. Well, I've went along with the preschool thing, I'm not totally happy with it but thats just me, i know it's the best thing for him right now.

The plan so far is he'll go Wednesday's and Fridays, in the afternoon. He'll still get Prt while he's there.

On to other news. My older sons b-day is on the 12th and we intend to have a party on the 17th. a Harry Potter party, invitations have gone out hogwarts style. *I'll take pics of the invitations as soon as I can and post them to the blog, there neat!

~R

PRT and Son reading food charts

well, I did it.

It was a long, hard decision but I quit PRT. Have a lot of turmoil going on inside right now over it though. I don't want to have made the wrong choice.

Buggie will still be getting all the services just not on a daily basis.

My reasons for quiting:
1) my nerves
2) the rest of the house needs attention
3) arless’s spelling tests are suffering
4) arless’s reading is suffering
5) oh yeah my nerves
6) I need to be able to know I can make a mess when I want to and not have to worry about someone coming a seeing it
7) So I can get sleep at night(maybe.)
8) So I can spend days with mom and Diad
9) So I can feel like I’m a mom*
10) So I can exercise in the mornings
11) Etc…

*It's true I didn't feel like a Mom at all. It was to the point where it seemed everyone else was making decisions for not only Buggie, but the other children as well. I know that some of the autism team probably read this, but I have say it. I felt like every aspect of my life was under scrutiny, I was afraid to do anything because it may not be what they wanted me to do. I always prompt Buggie like I'm suppose to, but no one is 100% on their game and if I so happen to miss one thing that could have been used as a prompt, I was talked to about it. I was uptight to say the least.

I was always cornered, and felt as though I was never believed. I work like crazy to help Elijah but I had the feeling they didn't believe me that after they were gone I continued with the PRT, of course I don't follow him around all day, I have two other children, a husband and a 15 room house to keep clean...piles and piles of laundrey.

Still I worry about quiting, but my Hubby and my Mom are supporting my decision and that helps.

On another note: K0fC(my older son) can't take peanut butter sandwhiches to school anymore because of allergies in the school, which is understandable. The thing is, he won't eat anything but peanut butter sandwhiches. well, it took us awhile but we finally found that he'll take cereal and a spoon, buy milk and have cereal for dinner. Well this morning i got out his lunch bag and there was his cereal, the money was gone for the milk, but he hadn't eaten. I asked him about it, he said well I read on the milk and it says 8% fat so i dumped it out. Needless to say i was floored and heartbroken and it's made me reexamin my life. I have got to stop obsessing over my weight, i have to stop reading food charts in front of my children. Mostly we've been reading food charts because my hubby has high cholesterol.

I've been worried about my daughter getting obsessed about her weight, but it turns out it's the child I leat expected to.

I sent him to school today with cereal, he tells me he now understands that he needs to eat, and if he doesnt it could hurt him.

Mostly I'm at a loss, any insight would be helpfull by moms going though the same thing or anyone for that matter.

~R

Been so long since I've written...

been overwhelmed with this whole PRT thing. Turns out it's not that easy to endure and I keep having mini-breakdowns because of the stress.

mostly it feels like my life is not my own. I've seriously been considering quiting, but I'm so afraid I'm being selfish.

I don't get to do the things I use to do anymore, this prt has invaded every aspect of my life. I use to spend at least 4 days a week helping Evie and Arly with test stuff they have every friday, now I just don't have the time. Elijah keeps me so busy with Prt, washing food off the ceilings, making sure he doesn't eat his pamper or feces.

Everything within me is saying for my sanity, and for my relationship with my children I need to quit.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

R

*sigh*

R